Thursday, February 4, 2010

IT HURTS MY BRAAAAAAAIN


Make it go away, please.

Valentine's Day may be imminent, and I may be female, lonely, single and bitter, but even in my vulnerable state this crock of shit does not look appealing.
I bet they hired TaEnoby to write it. She definitely knows how to put together a self-insert.

8 comments:

Rhiannon said...

...

O_O

Rhiannon said...

Okay...first reaction of vomiting all over myself aside, I think we should do something like this. I'm willing to bet they didn't think of writing a gay/lesbian romance story for teens with insert-able heroes/heroines. Or a Choose Your Own Adventure story. Or something that's actually good.

Also..."Prom and Prejudice?" Someone needs to die.

E said...

"Prom and Prejudice"? WHERE?

...Actually, you coulddo something sort of like this and make it good(ish), but...there's only so much you can do with a self-insert. It's like those second-person stories on FF.N - if you can't relate to the main, if you don't think you would do what they did/look like they do/react the same way they did, you stop reading. It would be devilishly hard to do one of these right.

Rhiannon said...

"Prom and Prejudice" is the other option...it's that or the Vampire thing. It needs to be destroyed.

It would be devilishly difficult to do something like that and make it palatable to anyone with two ounces of grey matter, but I think it'd be fun. I suspect that they've got a generator thing where you'd input things like eye colour, hair colour, tall/short, name, and a bunch of choice adjectives for description...the actual story probably doesn't change.

We could expand it though, with a choice of endings, surprise characters, random murders...characters that grow up...and then make it abundantly clear that we don't accept refunds >:D

Whatever. The whole thing is the biggest masturbatory aid for pre-teen egos I've seen since I read the fourth Twilight book.

Athena said...

Wow. I saw this on FictionPress some time ago, but I'd forgotten about (read: repressed) it. I guess it's for a younger audience, but still... even kids need real books to read. My left eye is actually twitching with disgust right now.

Rhiannon said...

We could totally do a one where you're the heroine, and you live in a post-apocalyptic world and are trying to put it all back together, and then you meet...Kevin, the hunky, strong, manly leader-type that everyone trusts, so you marry him and become the power behind the throne, only to find out that you're actually a robot sent in disguise by the "other side" (aliens/killer robots/some other villain types) and that all of your feelings weren't real, so you go on a killer rampage and kill *everyone* because it's the only way to allow the world to heal and complete your true objective: wiping out the survivors.

Or werewolves. Werewolves would sell. >:D

E said...

Rhiannon: you are wonderful. I totally want to write something like that now.

Athena: AUGH I KNOWWWWWW
It's making us people who actually try look bad.

Rhiannon said...

>:D Go for it!